Wednesday, November 23, 2011

Acceptance of Myself

My study of Buddhism isn't what I expected it to be.  I have probably mentioned this before but it is so true.  I had this whole idea of Buddhism in my head, of what it is and what it was going to do for me.  I felt like I would change.  I would become Enlightened and turn in to this new, wiser person.  That is not what is going on at all.  Sure, I feel calmer.  I almost feel like things around me have slowed down in some way or I can just see them a bit better.  I am also getting this feeling of... maturity.  I feel myself thinking less about what I want and more on what I have.  I don't dwell so much on where I want to go, I am savoring where I am in this moment.

I thought there would be rules.  I was almost hoping for it.  I wanted things to learn and to study, but I feel like I know it as I read it.  Nothing is muddled or confusing, or coming as a big surprise.  It makes perfect sense.

I don't think wanting to better oneself is a bad thing.  I know I can only control so much but I do hope to grow as a person as I dive deeper in to Buddhism.

I know I only live once.  I know I will die some day.  I know I will be forgotten.  I do not seek remembrance, only acceptance of myself.


  1. Religion is so confusing...that's why I don’t do it.


  2. this post is very inspiring! the last few lines especially resonate.

  3. Ah, I completely understand the feeling of wanting rules to follow. It's comforting to have a list of simple commandments —it's almost the easy way!

    Feeling calmer sounds really nice...
    I imagine going from not feeling calm, to feeling that way would give you a steady (if slow) change in outlook, as long as it becomes a daily, ingrained practice.


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