(all images found via tumblr -- know the owner, let me know!)
It feels like it has been so long! I really missed my blog but a much needed break was definitely needed. I was getting to a point where writing wasn't as fun as it used to be and it was starting to be an obligation. Rather than make less-than-interesting posts I stepped away for awhile and regrouped. I'm feeling good now though! Life is great and I've made some positive changes in life (more later!).
My study of Buddhism isn't what I expected it to be. I have probably mentioned this before but it is so true. I had this whole idea of Buddhism in my head, of what it is and what it was going to do for me. I felt like I would change. I would become Enlightened and turn in to this new, wiser person. That is not what is going on at all. Sure, I feel calmer. I almost feel like things around me have slowed down in some way or I can just see them a bit better. I am also getting this feeling of... maturity. I feel myself thinking less about what I want and more on what I have. I don't dwell so much on where I want to go, I am savoring where I am in this moment.
I thought there would be rules. I was almost hoping for it. I wanted things to learn and to study, but I feel like I know it as I read it. Nothing is muddled or confusing, or coming as a big surprise. It makes perfect sense.
I don't think wanting to better oneself is a bad thing. I know I can only control so much but I do hope to grow as a person as I dive deeper in to Buddhism.
I know I only live once. I know I will die some day. I know I will be forgotten. I do not seek remembrance, only acceptance of myself.
Yesterday was a great day. Nanc' and I spent it hanging out and doing a whole bunch of baking. Snickerdoodles, oatmeal cookies and puppy chow! I probably did way too much sampling.... and I'm still not sure which is my favorite.
Things have been quiet lately. This week we're getting ready for Turkey Day. This will be the second one I've ever done on my own. I'm pretty excited! We aren't doing a ton of dishes, just the favorites but it will hopefully still be nice. What are your plans for the holidays?